Welcome to the Turning Wisdom into Joy interviews.

Explore these candid moments from those who walk the spiritual path. Keep an open heart and mind. Thanks-Jane

August 2011

Larry Patnoe-Ellis

YJ: What came first in your practice joy or wisdom?

L: Joy. My first attempt at meditation was close to a failure. It was 1959 and I was 18. I found a statue of Buddha in an aquarium shop.  Brought it home and decided to meditate. Put it on my lap and stared at it for a long time. I became very calm and time stood still. It was like being in a safe space or like a bubble. 5 minutes laid the seed...very cool. The Dalai Lama was exiled during this same period. We were roughly the same age. I was intrigued by his life and his plight. It was very hard to find books on Buddhism. The library had a few but they were arcane and obscure. I was immediately impressed by the ethics of Buddhist practice. It just made so much sense to me. There was no hesitation. I also loved the Buddhist view on how we don’t need to vie for attention when no one is giving it. Stop taking center stage and be ok with that. 

YJ: Give one example of your personal spiritual mecca?

L: In all of the places and states I’ve lived in my highest spiritual awareness moments have always been while I was spending time with nature and flowers. I am so joyful then. Lately there has been a great deal of strife where I live. Stressed out people constantly complaining, lots of tension. I’ve been trying so hard to figure out how to be in this situation. One night outside looking at the sky and smelling the beautiful summer flowers something came to mind. It was the Buddhist concept of emptiness. What is real here? It’s night time and the flowers look different than they do during the daytime. Our brain tells us what we see and know. I go into Buddhism esoterically and remember and live with that feeling and am very thrilled. I feel much love and kindness toward everyone. I sense duality and impermanence. We can’t hold any of it anyway.

YJ: What is y favorite activity that u do to remain mindful?

L: Being non-judgemental. Stay away from that entirely. So many things happen that irritate. We react. Just see the situation without making up stories about why this is happening to me.  Be totally present and stay with this thing that is happening. I don't have to do anything about it. It's really kind of a later in life thing. We get more pleasant with age.  One of my favorite quotes from the Dalai Lama is that “it’s always possible to be kind.” In my past I have been a salty person so this teaching is profound.

YJ: Would u share your insights on the path as you've experienced your illness?

L: One of the most astounding things I've discovered every time I'm in the hospital is that I seem to have some sort of a milestone that I cross in terms of developing a deeper Buddhist understanding of my life. Reflecting on things that have happened and my assessment of them. Being able to pass through walls while meditating and achieve altered realties of existence that are out of body, almost like being in the stars. I'm awake but not really? This morning I woke up in agonizing pain. Caregiver came in and I couldn't have more pills. I panicked for a moment and then my next reaction was to give all the compassion I had  to the pain. I did that and the pain was gone within half an hour. I sent love and compassion toward the pain and it stayed down. It didn't come back up and there were no drugs given. It was really all fine. 

YJ: What makes you happy?

L: Well. Scratching chin...plants! My houseplants and peace and quiet make me happiest. I love it when I just sit quiet and I can sit in my place. In my spot in the universe and be there where I should be. It's so expansive and evermore expansive it's like rapturous joy to have the opportunity to really feel all of the goodness. It's so radiant and so strong and I'm always very happy that I can feel that way. A lovely compliment from someone also makes me feel very happy and connected.

YJ: Best thing about your Buddhist practice?

L: Studying. So much is available now compared to when I started. I have a felt and actual sense of place when I practice. It's a good happy beautiful calm bright place and I'm right there with it and I feel like I belong right here and am so truly and very happy. 

Larry Patnoe-Ellis is an avowed Buddhist Monk living in Minneapolis, Mn. He took his vows many years ago and has lived the Buddhist path ever since. The name Ellis is his Grandmothers maiden name. She raised him after his mother died. Larry felt that it was important for people to know that he has CIDP which seriously affects the immune and nervous system. Larry is living in hospice and is confined to a wheelchair. Eventually his illness will cripple him completely.  Even with this debilitating illness and being paralyzed from the waist down he is very happy each day. I ask how? "It's easy...just be a Buddhist! It may sound crazy but I am still very interested in life and learning and experiencing joy. I love being alive. I am very fortunate."