no enemy

If you don't subdue the opponent inside, your own anger,

Although you subdue opponents outside, they just keep coming.

Muster the forces of loving kindness and compassion,

And subdue your own mind -- this is the practice of a bodhisattva.

Whenever we reflect on someone who has really hurt us whether from a physical, emotional, social or relationship context, what arises is a perfect oppotunity to notice things. How do we feel that hurt in our body? What is our emotional state and how do we react?  Do we tighten, harden and have a really hard time letting go and moving on? Maybe we isolate and avoid people and situations. Whatever the experience, it can be quite miserable.

The problem is almost never the other person or situation. The problem is the inability to accept our own experience. Most of us can't just experience the thoughts, feelings and sensations triggered by unexpected or unwanted interactions. We have to stop them and the only way we know how is to kill the messenger, or at least put him or her out of our life, one way or another. And then there is another, and another, and another...

The practice of a bodhisattva is to experience the world in a different way, a way in which there is no opposition -- nothing external and, more importantly, nothing internal. In Buddhist practice, there are numerous methods designed to build the capacity, skill, and willingness to experience whatever arises in your body, heart and mind. Among the most profound are the teachings on emptiness, i.e., that whatever arises is like a dream, vivid, clear, groundless and transient.

Some traditions encourage the cultivation of loving kindness and compassion as a way to open to everything that arises in life. Frequently, however, people simply adopt an attitude of loving kindness and compassion, subtly, or not so subtly repressing their anger and hurt and pushing the sense of opposition out of conscious awareness. That's a dangerous path.

Loving kindness and compassion arise naturally. No need to strain. The power of loving kindness and compassion is already in you. Just meet inside what you are trying to avoid, open to it completely, and rest there.

Peace,

Yoga Jane